The Life of Visser 7
by Tobyas
Summary: A different view of V3d i got permission from sinister shadow. It's Hilarious! please r


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Animorphs or V3D by SinisterShadow she let me write this.

A/N: I'm going to try and make this funny like V3D; this fic is a different view of V3D

**Hello, My Name is Visser 7**

Hello I'm Visser 7 the most loved visser in the entire yeerk empire! I'm the second richest to visser one (just one blasted yeerk coin away...). My mom says I'm not allowed to have any more taxxon pets, I killed the last one by smiling at it and his fellow taxxons messed up the place eating him.  
Then one had the nerve to poop in my living room. I killed them too... and swept them into visser three's room as another of my little pranks hehe. Visser three and I are best friends we like to play tricks on each other a lot. Like when I pretended to have married the cutest girl in the yeerk race, who was also his girl friend. He nearly blew up the blade ship. You should have seen his face! Ha-ha. Did I mention I am the nicest most loveable adorable yeerk (except for my cursed smile). His girlfriend is none other than Visser one herself! I always new they liked each other.

I am now listening to my favorite song 'I'm too sexy' and spinning the web, I mean surfing. Stupid human terms always make no sense, there such Dapsenses! Why don't they ever say what they mean? I decided to check what was hot on YeerkEmpire.yeerk when I heard a knocking at my door. I opened it and found Visser three glaring unforgivably at me.

Why did you dump a bunch of dead Taxxons in my room! Now it's a mess! Visser one boomed nearly making me deaf except I didn't 'hear' his thought speak

"Sorry, where else was I going to put them? I don't want my room messed…" I said nonchalantly

I will torture you until you can't possibly be tortured any more if you don't clean up that mess.

"You can't kill me because I'm your best friend"

What makes you think that?

"I'll tell everyone your _deepest,_ _darkest_ secret."

You -

'You have mail!' my computer interrupted

We both stared at the screen before I realized we had to check the message. It was from Iniss Visser three's personal assistant (the same guy who thinks I'm his dad).

_Dear Visser 7,_

_Hey daddy, It's nearly Christmas what are you going to get me? I hope it's a charm that can make Visser one like me. I went to a buffet and I ate five pounds of chocolate before I realized what I was going to get you! Yes oatmeal but I will also give you a set of the new toy collection of famous yeerks!_

"How'd he get that?" I asked

Oh no he doesn't have a yeerk penny! He probably stole from the yeerk empire I am gonna kill him! Visser three said

I read the rest of what he wrote.

_I've been a good boy so Santa is going to give me a present write? I don't have any paper so can you write my wish list down for me?_

_List:_

_Cookie_

_Chocolate_

_Oatmeal_

_Visser One_

_Love Charm_

_More chocolate_

_A billion dollar gift certificate_

I wrote the list because if I didn't he would start crying and would never shut up until next Christmas. I don't want that.

I was on my to the council of 13 but what is currently twelve because councilor four died, we had a big party at his funeral with confetti and cake and

We wish you miser balloons. You see councilor eight was a very evil yeerk no one liked him so we had a big party at his death day. I was now trying to join the council of thirteen; I and Visser 3 had a bet whoever became first got to take all the money of the opponent until he only had 952.5 yeerk coins and a meteorite left.

'What should I say that will promote me?' I thought to myself. I knocked at the door of the councilor's room.

"Who's there?" said a loud and nasal voice, who would promote a nerd to the council of 13!

"Erm… I'm visser 7 I want to be promoted." I said.

The door swung open and I was staring at all the councilors as they stared back at me. I was prepared for a speech or anything I wanted to crap myself right at that moment.

"So what do you want?" said councilor eight

"I- I WANT TO BE COUNCILOR!" I said louder than intended, councilor 8 rolled his eyes.

"We don't promote nerds, geeks, dweebs, people who need anger-management, retards, people who can't even control there bedwetting, etc." councilor one said.

Then I pointed to Mr. Loud and Nasal and asked how come he was in the council.

"He's joined before we applied the rules…" councilor eight said.

"Oh…" I said

"Are you going to show us why we should promote you?"

"Um, oh yeah" I got out my kazoo and started rapping

_(Farting noises as background)_

_I wanna be in the council of 13!_

_Although I'm only 19!_

_(More farting noises)_

_Oatmeal, oatmeal, oatmeal does the job_

_Oatmeal, oatmeal, oatmeal is my Hob-by_

_I eat it every day and night_

_Even when the taxxons take flight_

_(Farting noises)_

"So um waddya think?" I said.

Silence, then I heard someone chocking a laugh. Two minutes later every body was on the floor laughing even Mr. Loud and Nasal. Councilor 3 had to be rushed to the hospital… As I was walking back to my room in I heard a screaming, then saw visser one beating the life out of Iniss. I couldn't help but laugh. Visser Three appeared out of his room with a camera and handcuffs.

Ok so that's the end of chapter one! **NOTE**: the first time V3d diary talks about councilor four is in chapter 6 I think of the truth and dare. Visser 7 is councilor four

Not yet thought probably in 6-10 chappie he will be. at chapter seven or 11 councilor 4 (visser seven) will get replaced


End file.
